I had been thinking about this post for a bit and was planning for it to go in a different direction but I’m in a certain head space today and this is my blog, so tough.
There are many reasons why findom is a particular kink of mine. Those that try to criticize the kink like to simply write it off as, “But hey, everyone loves money!” But it is and can be so much more than that.
Like most things in my BDSM journey, my discovery of findom came through exploration. I was just beginning to explore my Domme side and the submissive that I was playing with had offered to buy me gifts. A few months later with a different sub, it progressed to sending money and it sent me down the path that you find yourself joining me on now.
One of the reason that I love findom is that it helps to fund my happiness. I have a very hard time buying things that I want for myself. Do I have the financial capability to do so? Yes, definitely. I have worked very hard to get to this current position in my life and career. However, when I was growing up we only ever had enough to cover our needs. Being raised by a single mother who was taking care of three children, we always had a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. But there was rarely anything left over for the “extras”. And I came to learn that if we decided to splurge, that’s when the unexpected happened. A forgotten over due electric bill or an unexpected car issue. And that mentality has always stuck with me. And it’s usually a very good thing. I have a healthy emergency savings that I’ve had to use recently when my car alternator died, I needed a new battery and an entirely new set of tires. But that also means, I don’t often treat myself.
Now sure, the little stuff is easy. I take myself to get morning coffee or go every 2 or 3 weeks to get my nails done. But those are low cost things. I’m talking the bigger ticket items. The things that I really want but sometimes can’t bring myself to get. And that’s where tributes come in. It’s SO much easier to splurge when money has been given to me as a gift. That’s always why gift cards for me are great. It forces me to have to spend at a specific store. I often don’t do reimbursement for the reasons I’ll explain below.
What spurred this particular post is a pair of shoes. I made the mistake of going into a Bloomingdale’s this weekend and feel in love with a pair of beautiful heels. Had they had my proper size, I might have done an impulse buy and bought them right there. But instead, I had the option of buying them online and that’s when the trouble started. For the past four days, I have been turning over in my head if I really want/need/deserve these shoes. My diagnosed anxiety is what makes these mental conversations even harder. Earlier this week, my best boy funded a spa afternoon for me. I have badly needed a massage for at least a year and yet even when he sent for it, it was still a struggle for me to spend it purely on myself.
What many subs fail to realize is that on a place like Twitter, you only see the image that a Domme wants you to see. Unless you’re an established Domme with like 3k followers, you can’t really have a “bad” day. You don’t want to know that we’re stressed, anxious or in pain from period cramps. That doesn’t get likes or RTs. I have to show my pretty and happy self, so I can attract any submissive that might even want to scratch the surface of my psyche and get to know the real me.
All of this is to say, financial domination is so much more than just sending money for me. Yes, it’s about domination and control. But when I say that I appreciate every single tribute that I receive, I truly mean that. I appreciate the sacrifice it requires to give with no expectation of anything in return and it always pleases me greatly to finally be able to enjoy the life that a Goddess like me deserves.