ENM: Taking the First Step

If you’re curious about how my partner and I opened up our relationship and decided to become ENM, you can catch up on the story here.

So now we’re ENM. We’ve had conversations about rules and boundaries. It’s sex only, just physical. Only at their place. Our home is just for us. We remain each other’s primary partner and therefore have “veto” power.

After swiping on Tinder and dealing with complete idiots, I finally matched with someone who wasn’t an asshole. I wrote in my profile that I’m in an ENM relationship and told him what I was looking for. He was single, just looking for fun and didn’t mind that I had a partner. So we moved things to text. Next thing I know it’s Saturday and he invites me to hang out.

Now, previous to this, I was a serial monogamist. I’m talking a 2 1/2 year relationship followed up by a 7 year relationship and now 3 years with my current partner and with not a ton of time between each. I never had a “hoe” phase. Never met up with a guy at a bar and went home with him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude or anything (obviously). Just selective. But I knew that I needed to try this, at least once and see how it would go.

So I didn’t overthink it, which is something I’m known to do. I told my partner. I needed to be sure he was really ok with this and gage his reaction now that it could really happen. And he seemed so relaxed about it. Which of course eased my mind as well. He didn’t want full details. Just his name and where I was going, for safety reasons.

He lives an hours drive away, and boy, talk about an emotional rollercoaster. Nervous, horny, could I actually go through with this. About 20 minutes into my drive, my partner calls me. He sounded apprehensive. Said that he didn’t think he could do this and I immediately started looking for the next exit to turn around. Then he laughed, said I’m totally fucking with you and asked if I would be home for dinner. While I could have smacked him through the phone, part of me needed that last bit of reassurance.

When I got to his place, we chatting for about 30 minutes before proceeding to more. I found I was actually able to get out of my own head and actually enjoy the experience. Now, I don’t kiss and tell, so no x-rated details (unless you buy a cuckold session with me of course).

When I left, I simply just sat in the car for a moment and felt this overwhelming sense of love and pride for my partner. I never thought that having sex with another man would make me feel even closer to my love. I called him and let him know I was heading home. He was surprised that I was already on my way back.

When I got home, the dished were washed and the trash had been taken out. We sat and cuddled. This also became a new rule for us. To sort of reconnect afterwards. I needed to know that we were ok. That I wasn’t bad or wrong for wanting to have sex with someone else. And he needed to know that he had nothing to worry about from this other man. That it was purely carnal and that I still loved him and wanted to be in a relationship with him.

He asked if I would be seeing him again and I told him, yes. However the next week definitely proved that ENM is not always sunshine and roses.

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