This is my brand new post series call “Deeper” where I take a deeper dive into specific kinks. I’ll give definitions and talk about the several different ways in which this kink can be explored in either a real-time or an online setting.
For my very first Deeper post, I’m excited to talk about a kink that I enjoy but is very often misunderstood.
The definition of cuckold is actually in the Merriam Webster Dictionary:
cuck·old | \ ˈkə-kəld , -(ˌ)kōld \ : a man whose wife is unfaithful
So let’s unpack this.
As it pertains to a D/s relationship, the cuckold (cuck) is usually the submissive male. His partner is often called the “hotwife”. As this kind of dynamic revolves around the hotwife having sex with someone other than the cuckold, the primary relationship either takes on an open or polyamorus dynamic. Typically the person who has sex with the hotwife is called a “bull”, however this also might be the boyfriend of the hotwife in a polyamorus dynamic.
There are several reasons why a man might identify as a cuckold. Some like the humiliation of another, more well endowed man having sex with their partners. Some are in a female-led relationship (FLR) or total-power exchange (TPE) in which the partner dictates that this is what she wants. Traditionally, the cuckold will not have sex with anyone else, while the hotwife is allowed, and often encouraged, to sleep with other people.
Another very similar dynamic, is the stag/vixen.
A “stag” is a dominant man that enjoys watching and/or knowing that his partner is receiving pleasure from another person. The partner of the stag, is called a “vixen”. In this dynamic, a vixen might seek permission from the stag to engage in sex with another person, or it might be something that the stag arranges. Additionally, the stag may also engage in sex with other people.
As you can see, based on my descriptions this is how cuckoldry might play out in a real-time relationship. It takes a lot of trust and communication and definitely not something that usually happens in the beginning of a relationship.
So, you’ve got a cuckold kink (or you think you might) but you know your wife is totally not into it. How might this work via an online D/s relationship or session?
A key piece of the cuckold kink is the jealousy and humiliation aspect. That can be hard to illicit in a one-off session but not impossible. I might have a cuckold session right before a date night. Teasing and riling up the cuck about what I’m wearing or maybe throw in some sph. I also enjoy locking up a cuck and giving him a task while I’m on my date. Sometimes cucks will cover the cost of our dates or go as far as getting gifts for my partner as well as myself.
Even though you may choose to do a session with or serve me, that does not automatically make you a cuckold.
I usually keep all of my relationships separate. While every partner knows about the others, I don’t talk much about them to each other. It helps to keep the jealousy at bay. Therefore, if a sub wants to explore cuckoldry with me, they might end up getting a bit more involved in my primary relationship. But if they’re not interested in it at all, I merely just don’t mention my partner.
Many people tend to look down or shame cucks but cuckoldry can add a very fun dynamic to a D/s relationship as long as it’s done with compassion and understanding.