You may have never heard of this before but if you’ve been in the scene, you may have very well experienced it and didn’t even realize.
This specific post was spurred on because I broke a sub recently, or at least I thought I had before realizing that I may have helped push him into sub drop without realizing it. Yes, we Dom(me)s can make mistakes and it is our responsibility to take care of what is ours.
So, what is sub drop? Well, it’s actually scientific. Essentially it’s a dopamine drop. Think of it almost like a submissive depression. It’s something that can happen directly after a scene, up to maybe three days later. Maybe you feel that you disappointed your Dom(me) and now you’re just spiraling. Subs that already have a history of depression might be a bit more susceptible to sub drop as well.
So, you’re experiencing sub drop, what should you do? Tell you Dom(me) immediately. Any good Dom(me) is going to do what they can to bring you out of it. Usually in the form of reassurance, lighter play, ect. If it’s your first time, discuss with your Dom(me) what might have spurned it. For my sub, it turns out that he is not really capable of handling being ignored as a punishment, as it’s a trigger for him. This was something he didn’t know before and when it happened, it created an almost irreversible crack between us. It’s something that we’re still mending, and something that I need to be aware of in the future.
Please don’t confuse subdrop with subspace. Those are two different things. Think of subspace as your high high and subdrop as your low low.
Aftercare can always help to stave off subdrop but really, as always, communication is key.