I’m not going to go into my entire history with BDSM but I do want to talk a bit about my relationships and how this whole thing works for me.
I’m going to explain it a bit like a hierarchy, as that’s the easiest way to start.
My boyfriend is my real-time partner. It’s really because of him that I’ve been able to explore this all deeper than I ever have before. Yes, he does know all about “this stuff”. He is extremely supportive and I love him to bits. He was purely vanilla before we met and still is for the most part. However he does have a dominant personality and is beginning to explore that a bit with me. Some may ask, “Well, is he your alpha?” No. We are not in a D/s relationship. I classify us as an Alpha couple as we are in an equal partnership and are both dominant personalities. Here’s where a bit of the Switch aspect comes in. I do have times when I am feeling particularly submissive. He’s starting to learn when those times are for me and is becoming more comfortable in taking a dominant role during those times. And of course, there are those sexy times when I’m submissive as well 😉 I’m excited to continue to explore BDSM with him (he’s getting interested in us having a service sub or possibly a sub as a cuck!). He is the top of the food chain (so to speak) and will always trump any other relationship I might have.
Next up is my Master. I have an online-only Master that I have been with for about 3.5 years and for all intents and purposes, I am his collared slave. We met in Second Life and he has been putting up with me ever since. Our relationship is quite unique, in that he doesn’t quite control me much in real-life. Ours is more of a mental and emotional D/s relationship. He was there for me when I was struggling with my mental health. Making me get out of the house to see friends and sometimes just making me eat something other than cookies. And I’m his emotional support. I’m there to be my usual sassy and bratty self. I’m his shoulder to lean on and just someone he can chat and rant to without expecting to give anything in return. I am there for him, always. Due to his real-time life, there has been times he’s been away without contact for weeks. But I am committed to him and always will be. He has shown me what true dominance really means and I have learned so much from our relationship. I always had a dominant personality, even while sub, but he allowed me the space to begin to explore my Domme side. Our relationship has truly framed what it means to me to be submissive. I crave to make him proud as his girl, but also as a Domme in my own right.
Now because I am a Switch, I wouldn’t be complete without my submissives. I’m not going to list them out because I know how some subbies can get jealous.
Over the years, I have had many come and go. Within online D/s, that can be expected. But I have had one that has been with me since the beginning. He was the beginning. A natural submissive drawn to my dominant side. I remember always telling him that I didn’t have the temperament of a Mistress. I wasn’t this or I couldn’t do that. He helped me to learn that a Domme is whatever she wants to be because if she is naturally Domme, a submissive will always be drawn to her. He was (and still is) patient with me. Much like the relationship I have with my Master, is the relationship I have with this sub.
Outside of these three people, there are other select people, both Domme and sub that are very special to me within BDSM. Yes, findom is a kink for me but it is very much intertwined with my BDSM. That means that I am selective with who I choose to expend my time and emotional availability with. If you ever want to find yourself in my inner circle, it take time, devotion, honesty and loyalty. Always.