Like so much in this world, everything has multiple levels. The same can be said for submission.
This is a submissive that likes to play the field. Maybe they prefer pay-to-play (meaning they pay for sessions). Maybe they enjoy the freedom of giving to many Dommes. This is where you should begin your journey as a submissive. It allows for you to get a feel for different Domme styles and learn what it is that you prefer. As a finsub, start with small tributes. Tell the Dommes that you speak with and play with that you just plan on being a community sub for the moment.
You do have rights as a community sub!
It is not my belief that as a community sub, you must obey every Domme. You should show your respect, yes, but you need only obey the Domme that you happen to be conversing with at the moment.
I like community subs. They have their place. They can offer something a bit different, a nice surprise tribute or RT game. But I can’t mold a community sub. I can merely play with them.
This is the next level. You’re not “official” yet, but you’ve deleted your dating apps and are committed to seeing where things might go. For me, this is a very special place for you to be in. It means that I see the potential in you. We’ve had extended conversations, we’ve played, you’ve sent tributes and I believe that we might make a good match.
But we enter into this level as equals. I cannot force you to submit to me. I can only offer you the opportunity. And this is where the true fun can begin. We can begin to learn about each other and I can start to craft you into the perfect submissive for me.
Because that is what this is all about, me. Don’t get me wrong. I will enhance your life in the process. I will give you life meaning. I will help you to achieve things that you had been always wanting but never able to do on your own.
But this is something very serious to me. When I take you under my wing, I accept the responsibility that goes along with that. And for that reason, it is very rare for me to take subs under my consideration.
There is no timeline for when you might go from being under consideration to becoming owned. To be called mine is the highest honor I could give you and it needs to be treated as such.
I require loyalty, honesty and open communication from my submissives. You will talk to me about whatever is on your mind. What you’re excited to try and what scares you. I even want you to be comfortable in talking with me about me. If there are things that you want from me or need of me. Of course, I am under no obligation to do anything but it’s important for me to know what is on your mind.
Being owned means you’re in it for the long-term. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean for life but the expectation would be that this is something that could last a while.
*At any point, either the Domme or sub should feel empowered to step away if the relationship is no longer working. Subs, you shouldn’t feel obligated to stay just because you are the sub. You should definitely communicate your feelings first and foremost but if you believe there can be no resolution, it’s best to say goodbye. *
Now there is one last level in submission: Collared.
Stay tuned for a separate blog post on this topic 😉